Dailrag!

My teenage son, 14 and teenage daughter, 16, fight ALL OF THE TIME! It's driving me insane. I'm not sure which one of us needs therapy?! (Maybe all of us?). The routine is getting too routine, she gets home from school, then he gets home from school and the 'fun' begins; they start to pick at one another, then they eat something and they stop picking, because they can't pick at one another and chew at the same time, but once they've downed the entire contents of the refrigerator, they begin again. Then it's time to get dressed for tennis. Because they are in separate rooms they don't actually get dressed together (so they aren't fighting). But then, they get into the car, and my 16 old drives and my 14 year old says something to provoke her and they begin only this time it's in the car and that's SUPER DANGEROUS ( so we grounded them). When they arrive home from tennis they take showers, not together, so they aren't fighting. But we do sit down at the dinner table with one another and they start, but they know, because we are at the table, with them, that they may not actually yell at one another. It's much more subtle jabs. I just know if we weren't at the table they'd throw food across the table at each other. And so I'll suggest to them that maybe they could actually say something NICE to one another (not an option). And I keep saying things like, "Ah, I'm tired of hearing you both fight". And my 16 year old will say, "You're tired of it...think how I feel??!!" and then I just decide to go to bed, really early, bc I can't take it anymore. And so I wake up the next morning, feeling totally optimistic, that this day will be different, they'll treat each other with respect! But nope, hasn't happened. What's a mom to do?!