Monday, July 12, 2010
Big FUCKING Dailure
A negative biopsy is one of the biggest and best dailures that I can think of! What a horrible couple of weeks it's been. It aint over but it sure feels a bit better than yesterday, when it was all I could do not to jump out of my skin. The FIFA world cup finals was a good distraction but the entire affair made me so nervous (not a lot of help consider my already fragile state). I managed not to hyperventilate (it was my birthday, yesterday, and there were people 'watching', no, they weren't watching me, they were watching the game at our house). It would have been most undignified if I had started writhing around on the floor, while everyone was watching as Spain played Holland. NOT ONE GOAL until the last five minutes in the second 15 minutes of overtime. Talk about a nail-biter. I thought the game was going to go into penalty kicks. That would have been a royal bummer. It all worked out and Spain scored the one and only winning goal. So I waited ALL day today for a doctor to get back to me with the results. And it wasn't until 5:45 PM that he called and left a message on our answering machine, "the results from the tests look good" was all he said. But it was enough to help me feel that someone had loosened the noose around my mid-section.
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8 comments:
Oh Hope, that is a dailure! What a relief! It also sounds as if Jordi will be in the very best of hands for what is ahead.
That WAS a nail-biter game...I think writhing on the floor might have been quite acceptable!
Yes, you are right, it was very tense. I'm sure my state of mind didn't help. Wanna hear something 'amusing'? When I told Jordi the results his response was, "I don't know what you were so worried about? I knew the results would be negative?" MEN!!!!! Grrrr. His attitude, 'what me worry?' Maybe I'm jealous. No, not maybe, yes, I am! As a friend stated: "when it comes to rather serious issues men are like ostriches, but if they stubbed their toes or have a hangnail...it's all ouch ouch waaaa waaaa". This is true.
After the agony you went through last week and this weekend???? Jordi!!!!
I can't sleep! It's 5:45 AM here and I've been awake since 2:00...this hasn't happened to me for while...too much stuff going on in my head that I can't quiet down. So I've given up completely and am reading. Have you read Running With Scissors?
I'm sorry, what's going on? And yes, I did read that book (and saw the horrible movie). Is that Andrew Burras (sp?).
Nothing to worry about...just chatter in my head...and I'm not as sleep-deprived as I am during the school year. I remember Alexandra told me the movie was horrible, but the book is hilarious, in a horrific, black humour kind of way. It's Augusten Burroughs. A friend just gave me all three of his books to read...she said they are all very funny.
Did you wake up feeling like a huge load had been lifted this morning? I think it's great that you have the very best available to take care of Jordi. That must help as well.
I remember the book. It was hilarious and macabre. Is that the book with the psycho family and the psychiatrist who watches his shit go down the toilet? Wasn't there some controversy that Burroughs claimed that the stuff really happened to him and it wasn't so?
Oh the relief. The doctor said that he's still got this operation and we must wait and see if there's 'anything' there. But for now, I relishing the lifting of an enormous weight. I will take my moments as they come. Sorry you've got "chatter" on the brain. That should be posted as a Dailrag on the blog!
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